


¯\_(ツ)_/¯

by ReaWrite



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Ecto-Penis, Established Relationship, F/M, Pillow Talk, Post Coital Silliness, Queefing, Second person POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-29 00:49:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6352267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReaWrite/pseuds/ReaWrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The tags are probably summary enough, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	¯\_(ツ)_/¯

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this.

The both of you know you're in for experiencing some oddities the first time you and Sans have sex; it's your first with a monster, his with a human. There's a lot of new ground to cover. The apparition of a magic blue glowing cock is just one out of the countless discoveries made, which probably helped in your adjustment to it all as opposed to diving in without warning.

You are much less prepared for when it subsequently disappears after all is said and done.

You're both sprawled over one another in a tangle of sweaty limbs, exhausted but oh so wonderfully sated. Sans had only just finished inside you and flopped face-first into your chest when you feel the buzz of magic in the room dissipate, like cotton candy in your mouth. One moment, you're filled with cock. The next, nada. You only barely realize what this means before the inevitable happens.

You rip the hugest fucking queef of your entire life.

It passes so suddenly it actually jolts Sans from his half-asleep state, and he holds himself above you with wide eyes set in a very curious expression. You groan, dragging your hands over your face. They normally weren't that bad, but that was when you were with humans, whose appendages, y'know, tended to maintain their solidity as they slipped out of you.

“oh my god.” Sans grins, the corners of his eyes crinkling with mirth.

Oh no. “Sans.”

“was that--”

“Sans.”

“--the old whoopie cushion in the vagina trick.” He's laughing now. You are too, and you hate it. “wow. i can't believe you'd do that for me. i think i love you.”

You shove his face away before he can clack his teeth to your cheek. “Oh my god, shut up. For your information that was a queef, and the only people who laugh at them are immature teenage boys who've never had sex.”

“hmm, nope. still hilarious. i think i’ve found my new favorite sound, actually.” Suddenly his eyes brighten, like a light bulb switching on in his head.

Oh no.

“babe.” He pokes your side, and you squirm while throwing him your best stink-eye. He looks positively giddy. “babe. listen. i have an idea for a safe word.” His shit-eating grin is too bright for the naked eye.

“Sans I am never going to stop a fucking session by yelling ‘I am the legendary queef master’ at you.”

“oh my god. that’s even better than what i was going to say.”

“I hate you.”

“i love you.”


End file.
